1. WAYS TO HELP A PARTNER WHEN THEY'RE FEELING DOWN

Many people long to have a satisfying, meaningful relationship with a loving partner. But what is it that distinguishes people who are happy in their relationships from people who are checked out and disappointed? Research shows that how people respond to their partner's emotions distinguishes who is satisfied versus not satisfied with their relationship. Making your partner feel valued, really listening to them, and using humour to help them feel better were the most important ways that people with high relationship satisfaction were different from those with low relationship satisfaction. Being satisfied in your relationships means that your union with your partner meets your expectations and needs and that you experience pleasure from the relationship. People who are highly satisfied with their relationship feel love for their partner and believe their relationship is better than most. People who have low levels of relationship satisfaction see problems in their relationship and might wish that they had never gotten into the relationship. If your partner is feeling down, frustrated, or anxious, there are different things you can do to help them feel better. Walker's research outlined eight different techniques people can use to reduce their partner’s negative feelings or increase their partner’s positive feelings. These eight emotion regulation strategies are: Valuing. Expressing to your partner how much they are valued and special to you. Humour. Trying to make your partner smile or laugh. For example, you could share a joke, tell a funny story, or act silly to entertain them. Receptive listening. Encourage your partner to share their emotions by talking about what has just happened or how they are feeling. Reconstrual. Encouraging your partner to change their thoughts or interpretation of the situation that is causing their emotions. Direct action. Directly changing something in your partner’s environment to reduce their negative feelings. For example, if they are frustrated by loud and annoying talk radio, you could turn off the radio. Distraction. Attempt to reduce your partner’s negative feelings by focusing their attention away from the aspect of the situation that is causing their negative feelings. Expressive suppression. Encourage your partner to avoid expressing their emotions in their facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language. Downward social comparison. Trying to change how your partner feels about a bad situation by shifting their frame of reference to someone who is in an even worse situation. If your partner feels valued, listened to, and able to laugh with you when things are rough, they will likely be more pleasant to be around. Your partner may also be more likely to pay attention to you and your needs. In this way, investing in your partner (via efforts to make them feel better) might lead to a more satisfying relationship.